Bereavement, loss and grief are all highly emotive words and describe life events which all of us experience at some time in our lives. Bereavement has been defined as 'the loss of something valued'. Grieving is the process we go through in adjusting to that loss, a process that is as individual as the person who is experiencing it.
Most often we talk about grieving in relation to death but it is also used to describe the process we go through in dealing with the loss of a loved one through divorce or separation. It is also applied to other life events which you may recognise as part of your own life experience and which you may want to talk about with someone who will listen without judgement in a caring, supportive relationship.
Emigration
Stillbirth
Rape
Mastectomy
Adoption
Burglary
Miscarriage
Sexual abuse
Infertility
Menopause
Ageing
Imprisonment
Serious illness
Retirement
Redundancy
Moving house
Disability
Blindness
Leaving home
Bankruptcy
If you are currently suffering a loss of any kind, you may be feeling confused about your reactions and your feelings so it's important to remember that how you respond to bereavement and loss will be very personal.
You may never have experienced the loss of someone close to you before and are worried that your reaction is not 'normal'. Sharing your feelings with a counsellor can be very helpful in understanding the process you are going through.
You may be supporting someone who is dying and need to put on a brave face for those around you whilst all you want is a safe place to 'offload' your own worries, fears and emotions.
Your feelings may be affected by the kind of relationship you had with the person who has died and may be complicated by the circumstances of their death particularly in the case of murder or suicide in which case you may be bewildered or angry.
You may be struggling with the 'what 'if's' and going over and over things again in your mind.
You may be gripped by a terrible depression leaving you wondering whether you will ever enjoy life again.
Grieving, though undeniably very painful, is a natural process that must be worked through in order for us to rebuild our lives. There is no set time scale and, at times, you may feel that it's getting harder, not easier.
Talking about how you are feeling, reminiscing about the person, expressing regrets, fear and anger is often a part of that process. However, it can be difficult to find someone to share your feelings with for any number of reasons.
You may want to protect those closest to you because they may be grieving too or you may simply feel that they won't understand. Whatever, the reasons, you may find yourself feeling very alone. In these circumstances, it can be helpful to talk to someone who is not directly involved and can help you recognise and experience your emotions.
As a counsellor, I am trained to help and to be with people who are expressing strong emotions. Arranging an initial appointment would give you the chance to establish whether counselling could be helpful to you.
